The Set-Up
by LightofEvolution
Summary: What happens when her friends drag Hermione out for a night? Some people are in for a set-up! Dramione, EWE
1. I do not back down

**A/N: Started this a while ago while listening 'Pretty Woman' by Robbie Williams and the brilliant MrBenzedrine encouraged me to write it on. And while it demanded a small pause from writing 'Tickling' (don't worry, the next chapter is all planned out), I had much fun writing it! By the way, this is going to be a two-shot. It's not an original plot, I must admit, but I wanted to write something more cliché than I usually do (reunion story next? ;)).**

 **Thank you, A., for sharing your Christmas with me, for encouraging me to pursue this, for making this wonderful cover for me! THANK YOU! *hugs and kisses***

"Ginny, you can't be serious!" Hermione sent her unruly curls flying in an attempt to express her attitude towards her best female friend's plans.

"Pleeeease, Hermione! It's the only evening this month I could arrange my parents to take care of our rascals, and it's Harry's first free Saturday since he got promoted!"

"Well, shouldn't you spend the evening alone with you husband then instead of forcing me to go out practically naked?" The brunette pointed to the, for her liking, much too sparkly, much too tight, much too short blue dress Ginny brought and needed her to wear.

"To fall asleep in front of the TV at half past eight? No, thank you. We both agreed it has been ages since we went out for a little bit of partying with our dearest friends."

"That's because you had a baby six months ago, Ginny, do you remember? Albus? A cute, smiling bundle of joy? And you've got a toddler, too: James." Okay, maybe her voice was laced with a tad of sarcasm here.

"Merlin, Hermione, we simply need some hours outside of nappies, tripping over toys, and breastfeeding discussion with other mothers, you know?" But Hermione didn't know. For her, Ginny and Harry lived the perfect live: a happy and loving marriage with two adorable children. Everything she wished for, but fate simply didn't have in store for her yet. Her relationship with Ron had exploded in a big, public fight over something silly some years ago, and from then on, she had been married to her job. Her career soared, and she held the position as the Head of the Department of Law Enforcement now, whereas her love life was not only a dry spell, but practically non-existent. Ron had been able to move on, having proposed to Padma Patil a while ago, and their friendship had been restored.

"Alright," she gave in begrudgingly, only to add, "but why is it a place that sounds like a cesspool of iniquity?"

"Because, my dear under-shagged friend, 'Bond' is _the_ exclusive wizarding club -if you believe the press and the gossip all around." Now _that_ Hermione couldn't deny -the under-shagged part that is. Not that she'd ever admit it.

Huffing, she submitted to her friend. "But no setting me up with some stranger this time!" The redhead grinned and produced her wand to run it over Hermione's hair, shoving the dress into her arms at the same time.

"I wouldn't dare!" Knowing Ginny, Hermione didn't really believe her.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Wow, Hermione, you look –wow!" Harry was lost for words when he spotted his friend at the front door of the club.

"Very articulate, Mister Chosen One. Why are you Head Auror again?" She hugged him. "This is all your wife's doing." She gestured to her figure. Ginny made her look like some nymph with her blue dress and matching peep toes, her hair cascading down her back in lush rivulets. A bit of jewellery and a hue of makeup to 'enhance her natural beauty' (Ginny's words) completed the outfit. She couldn't decide yet if she liked to feel this sexy, or if she wanted to hide under a rock –not that she could bend that far without showing her flimsy underwear around.

"One of the many reasons why I love her!" Harry pulled Ginny into his arms, kissing her straight on the lips. They were really a match made in heaven, Hermione registered for the millionth time. She greeted Ron and Padma who had just arrived at the club.

The group was let in without problems (being popular had its rare perks) and they secured themselves a table in a booth in the back of the dimly lit club. Hermione observed the posh interior: modern but warm and filled to the brink on this evening. The place really was popular among the younger wizarding population, for she spotted some familiar faces. Harry and Ron took off to the bar to fetch drinks for all of them, while the girls settled down around the table.

"How's Albus? Has he started teething yet?" Padma asked Ginny after settling down in the booth.

Ginny shook her head firmly, "No talking about children tonight, Padma! I want to feel free for some hours, and Hermione needs someone to talk about something else than work."

Padma nodded, "Sure. I always thought she has to let loose from time to time."

"Hey, I'm right here!" Hermione scowled -she wasn't a nun! Though, her life had been a bit sparse in the wizard sector for the past few years and before that –she hadn't exactly been adventurous when it came to men. Maybe it was time to change that.

"Yes, Herms, you are here, and my beautiful wife is here, and Padma and Ron-" Harry spoke from behind her, drinks in both hands. "-And look who we ran into!" Hermione couldn't believe her eyes when Harry and Ron stepped aside to reveal the one man that had a subscription on ruining her days at work: Draco Malfoy.

Surprisingly, the pureblood heir had made his peace with Harry and Ron after the war. It seemed escaping a life sentence in Azkaban or a ban from magic on hair's breadth did wonders to childhood grudges. Ron even mentioned at one of the Weasley family dinners that 'Draco is an alright guy most of the time', which equalled a declaration of eternal friendship coming from the redhead. The relationship between Hermione and the blond who, according to Witch Weekly, 'hadn't found the witch he could share his family's burden with yet', was – _difficult_ to say the least. He was the Head of Finance and Control, and it was not uncommon that the monthly meeting of the Department Heads ended in a screaming match (well, Hermione was screaming, he was drawling sarcastically) between the two of them. For the life of her, she simply couldn't understand why he needed to question every single item of her budget. Probably because he had a sadistic streak. Or simply because he could. Why did he work at all?

And why did he have to look so damn attractive in doing so?

Hermione could admit (but only in her darkest hours) that the blond was more than a little handsome, evident right in this moment: the room was only dimly lit, but still she could see his eyes sparkle. He had filled out nicely after school, not too bulgy or anything. But, taking only a very short look at his body (possibly because he didn't wear his Ministry robes for once), Hermione could make out muscles in all the right places. By Circe, was the man hot! Didn't change his overall idiocy, though.

The -unwelcome- addition to their evening smiled politely in greeting at Ginny and Padma, but when his eyes met hers, Hermione felt very warm of all sudden. He had the tendency to make her feel naked with one smouldering glance, even when fully clothed and robes buttoned up to her neck. Only she wasn't exactly 'fully clothed' at the moment, but wore the revealing dress her friend had forced her into. She couldn't help to notice that the usual intensity of his stare felt different somehow; while he wanted her to strip off her finances on a work day, he looked as if he wanted to strip her of- her dress? Nah. Not possible.

"Hermione." He tilted his head slightly.

"Draco."

Funny enough, despite their differences, she was the only one of the Golden Trio who called him by his first name and her by hers in turn. Ron and Harry remained with his last name, while her interactions were much friendlier. Must be a male spleen.

His eyes stayed locked with hers until Ron cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, we ran into him, and he was alone, and we thought he could tag along -right, Harry?"

"Yes, mate."

Her two boys had never been the epitome of subtlety and secrecy, despite hunting dark wizards all day. Hermione could smell twenty miles against the wind that something was foul.

"How sweet of you, boys!" Padma squealed. "I'm sure we can fit him in if we all slide together." Hermione didn't normally hold a grudge against her ex-boyfriend's fiancee, but this time she made an exception.

"I'm not that convinced, Padma. It's already quiet crowded with the five of us." That and she didn't want Draco to sit down with them.

"Nonsense, Hermione, the more the merrier!" Ginny stood and _somehow_ it turned out that the only available space could be made next to Hermione. Something was definitely going on.

"So, what brought you here, alone, on a weekend?" Hermione's best girlfriend inquired.

"Actually, I didn't intend to be alone. I was to meet Theo and Blaise here, but, somehow, they didn't show up." Draco's voice was tinted with anger at his two best friends leaving him high and dry. Or not so dry, considering he held a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"Zabini and Nott? You've evolved friend-wise since Hogwarts days, I must admit. The two of them seem to have their wits together," Hermione voiced, forcibly being part of the conversation. Not that she had much to say about recognising his presence. He didn't exude the homey scent of Harry or the familiar, more intimate scent of Ron. Draco Malfoy smelled unique. Alluring. Safe and dangerous at the same time. His scent invaded her brain, categorizing him as attractive, virile male and potential mate unasked. She desperately wanted to put some distance between her and the Malfoy heir, but she couldn't, for Ron was sitting directly next to her. Why didn't someone expand the bench magically? Oh, yes: _party experience_ and all.

"They have. They manage the Malfoy family business for me, and quite successfully at that. Theo just made a deal with an important business partner in Egypt who is going to provide the potion branch with some interesting and potent ingredients."

Padma leaned over Ron's lap, evidently curious. "But why don't you manage the company yourself? I mean, from what Hermione here told us, you have quite a talent for numbers."

The brunette felt soft, expensive fabric scraping over the bare skin at her knee and thigh when Draco turned towards her at Padma's words. "Has she, now?" His next words were spoken much lower, only for Hermione to hear. "I wasn't aware you were so interested in my talents." She'd never admit the pleasant shiver running down her spine caused by the tone of his voice. Louder, he replied, "I felt I needed to put some distance between my father's old ventures, but at the same time, I didn't want to give up the fortune. And Blaise and Theo are doing a fine job of restructuring and expanding the business while I can do what I like."

His lips curled into a barely detectable smirk when Hermione muttered under her breath, "Which, unfortunately, includes riling me up at any given opportunity."

From then on, the conversation developed nicely between the group of six, although Hermione ignored the blond wizard next to her successfully. However, on some point, her range of potential conversational partners ran thin, because Ginny had shamelessly started snogging her husband, and Ron had pulled Padma on his lap and was currently making out with her. Ugh. She loved her boys dearly, and she had slept with both of them (not a nice topic to breach with Ginny after the war), but she really didn't need to see _that_. She checked her escape routes -only to realise there wasn't any, she was trapped between two couples and Draco, who seemed the lesser of two evils all of a sudden.

"Soooo, Egypt?" she began her first try at a normal conversation with her colleague. He nodded, mildly amused.

"Yes. Egypt."

Uncomfortable pause with disgusting slurping noises in the background. The git knew exactly how much she despised the situation.

"Have they discovered something of interest that they aspired the deal?" she tried again.

"Yes, they have." His amusement was more evident now. He was the definition of infuriating in her book.

"Care to indulge me? I'm trying to make some small talk here!"

He featured a full blown smirk now. "Since you asked _so_ nicely. It's actually quite interesting: they discovered a papyrus about the use of honey in magical salves and draughts."

The witch's interest was honestly piqued. "That's fascinating! There are many theories on how honey influences the characteristics of potions, but there haven't been any scientific proofs yet!"

Draco made an approving noise. "That's why I commissioned a research project on that matter. My guess is that honey influences only certain ingredients, like herbs or leaves, but won't affect faunal ones."

Hermione felt herself leaning towards him, inquiring, "So you go with Paracelsus' theory, but what about Galen's paper on the change of potion recipes with non-magical substances?"

She had no idea how long they exchanged opinions or discussed controversial points; all she knew was: this was the fun she strived for. An highly intelligent, intense back-and-forth, fast and creative. And with Draco Malfoy of all people! She noticed their glasses had been refilled twice after Draco's gesture towards the bar, and the kissing. Recently, the fumbling noises around them had come to a halt.

"Blimey, hasn't anyone told these two that this isn't a library?" Ron piped up, staring at their -now interrupted- talkathon. Raising one of her eyebrows, she retaliated, "Hasn't anyone told you it isn't your bedroom, either?" Her friend blushed unbecomingly, "Uh, it's- huh…"

"Mh, I thought so, Ronald."

"My dear brother is right, we're in a posh club, let's go dancing!" Ginny spared Ron of giving an answer and pulled Hermione up. She tried avoiding to step on Draco's feet when she shimmied herself out of the booth -only to stumble over both of them, losing her balance and being stabilised by two warm hands on her hips. Damn heels. "Careful, Hermione," Draco's voice resonated behind her. "We won't have your pretty outfit ruined, right?" Damn hands. Damn voice. He held her until she had climbed from the booth successfully, not without one hand gliding over the small of her back when he let go of her.

Padma followed them to the dance floor, and the three women joined the crowd of people swaying to the music. Hermione wasn't what anyone with eyes called a graceful dancer, but she had an instinct for rhythm. After all, beat followed a logical pattern, and this was something like a second skin to her.

The three women easily hogged the limelight -and for once, it didn't matter to Hermione. She felt beautiful in her dress and enjoyed the music taking over her senses. They danced for what felt ages, and Hermione began to tire when she noticed a man, leaning at the bar, who all but undressed her with his eyes. She gave him a once-over in turn and deemed him quite good-looking; brown hair, dark eyes, an athlete's built. He winked at her then and started to walk over to her, obviously with the intention to dance with her. Just when she wanted to say something, another male stepped into her line of view; or, to be precise, right on the verge of her personal space.

Her nose recognised him before her eyes reached the unmistakingly grey orbs. Draco, of course -he just had to come and ruin her party mood and maybe the once-in-a-year (or half-decade) chance to get laid if she played her cards right.

Before she could voice her dismay, the blonde menace spoke to her, "He's not the right guy for you, trust me." She looked at him, demanding an answer. "He's dumb as it get's. Christian Pewter, chaser, playing for the Chudley Cannons. Was hit by a bludger quite hard two months ago, and it destroyed the last bit of intelligence he had."

"Who says I'm not only interested in good looks?" Hermione replied stubbornly. Now it was his turn to raise his perfectly arched eyebrows, as if asking, 'Are you kidding me?'

"Alright, maybe I enjoy an intellectually challenging partner. But they are so hard to come by."

She didn't like the wicked spark her words ignited in his gaze. With a smirk, he reached for her waist and pulled her towards him. She responded automatically to his sways and started dancing along, decidedly ignoring the things his proximity did to her body. "Okay, I have an intellectual challenge only for you: why did Blaise send me a message on my mobile, asking 'Harry, has the Eagle landed yet?' "

The witch didn't show how impressed she was that Draco (pureblood extraordinaire) knew how to operate a mobile, so she replied instead, "Oh, you mean other than to recommend Blaise the user's manual?" This time, his smirk was accompanied by a chuckle. He twirled her around in his arms and brought her back flush against his front. She would have fought not to revel in his demanding physical presence had it not been for her friends, which were directly visible for her after the turn. Like isopods diverging when the rock above them is turned, all four of them hastened to appear occupied instead of staring at Draco and her, causing Harry to spill his drink over Ginny's dress in his haste.

Suddenly, things fit together in Hermione's mind and she gasped, "They're setting us up!"

Draco's laugh made the small hairs on the back of her neck stand. "100 points to the lioness. I suspect Zabini and Nott are equally behind this, and not for the first time today. They've been asking weird questions last time you showed up in my office unannounced."

She remembered that particular day. It had been the first day of her period and her assistant had eaten her chocolate reserve. The note from Draco that he didn't approve of the new wand holsters for the Auror division caused her proverbial cauldron to boil over. She had stormed into his office without knocking, her wand blazing.

"Like?"

"'Don't you think Granger's bum looks exquisite in that pencil skirt?' Theo's words."

She had no control over the heat that rose on her face. "And what, pray tell, did you answer?"

"That I was too bloody distracted by deflecting the curses you threw at me to have taken an interest in your behind."

"I'm not hexing you at the moment. Yet." Where did this come from? His hands wandered down from her waist to the curves of her arse. And squeezed it. Hermione made a surprised gasp. He had the perfect grip.

"Now I have an answer for him," Draco whispered into her ear.

"Which is?" Hermione wasn't very proud at how breathless she sounded.

"That Theo has an eye for exquisite goods."

"Huh. Thanks, I think." She had to clear her throat. "What do we do with the meddling folk we call friends?"

His smirk became positively devious, and it made long forgotten synapses fire in her brain.

"How much Slytherin is in you, Gryffindor Princess?"


	2. Just Ain't Proper

**A/N: You are soooo great! I'm totally astonished at the reactions to the first chapter. And, somehow, this isn't longer a two-shot, as I decided to extend it a bit. Hope you enjoy it!**

 **You have to thank my awesome beta, MrBenzedrine, that Draco loses some of his clothing. Thank you!**

"How much Slytherin is in you, Gryffindor Princess?"

The innuendo was too simple to let it pass. "That depends on _his length_ entirely." For a second, she could see him blinking, unbelieving at her rarely used cunning. Then he broke out in hearty laughter, which she liked much better than his smirk.

"I deserved that. But I have a definite answer now."

The brunette was astonished at how easy she could anticipate his plans. "We're giving them a show."

"You've been sorted wrongly, I suspect. And yes, a show. How much do you care about making it to tomorrow's _Prophet_ headline with a bad girl story involving the most eligible bachelor of the wizarding world?" His drawl made being a bad girl with him magnetic to her.

She batted her lashes at him and smiled innocently. "Hermione Granger in a club making out with Draco Malfoy? This _just ain't proper_ , as my Granny would say."

"Absolute denial. That practically screams 'Slytherin'. So, we're a team? For the sake of revenge, of course?"

"Of course."

"Alright. Ready to slap me in a couple of seconds?" Draco asked, his expression Marauder-worthy.

"Will I ever be _not ready_ to slap you?" Hermione countered, though intrigued by what he came up with.

The surprised squeal that followed when Draco turned and dipped her over his arm wasn't an act. Nor was the surprised gasp when his free hand explored her bum without holding back. However that didn't mean she didn't appreciate the firm grip on her backside. Just as she wanted to comment on it, the hand travelled up her body, graced her sides with a soft caress, and flicked one strap of her dress to expose her shoulder and the very top of her breast. Faster than she could react, he cupped her head with his palm and leaned in to whisper into her ear, "I imagine you should want to slap me now, as I'm propositioning with something entirely inappropriate. Or do I have to run my thumb over your nipple for that?" Draco's voice was laced with humour and an undertone of seduction, and she couldn't help but giggle.

"Mh, you'd release me, and I'd land on the floor if I kneed you into your precious family jewels. So yes, a slap should suffice."

She schooled her face in a scandalised expression and raised her hand. Choosing the one facing away from her friends, she made an exaggerated slap-move that stopped right before his cheek. The booming music around them came to their advantage, overplaying the fact that the impact noise never came. What followed, however, was a more than convincing smirk from the blond wizard that still had his arms around her.

"Excellent. Now run off to your friends. I'll follow in a while. I think I spotted Theo and Blaise next to the bar -they also deserve an earful as well. I think I have to tell them what a fierce little kitten you are. "

Hermione grinned back, "Bring me a drink when you come back. A firewhiskey, neat please."

"As the lady wishes."

As ordered, the witch freed herself from his arms and stomped to the table where her friends awaited her with their jaws hanging open.

"Oi, Herms, did you just make out with Malfoy in the middle of the dancefloor?" Had she not known Ron inside out -she'd believed his surprise. This was his 'Ooops, I didn't know the cookies weren't meant for me'-face that Molly still fell for.

"For me, it looked like you wanted to hex him within an inch," Ginny submitted.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders non-committedly, "Hate, lust, disdain, love - you're married, is there really a difference?" That did the trick and the table fell silent for a moment. Oh, how she wished to have a camera prepared right now.

Her friends busied themselves with casual conversation, and Hermione took part in it, sorting out her thoughts all the while. Was it a bad idea to engage in this play to get back at her meddling friends, with Draco Malfoy of all wizards? Probably. Then again, Ginny was right; she had to let loose on some occasions, enjoying the freedom she had fought for. And: Bad ideas made the best memories, didn't they?

As if on cue, Draco approached their table, two glasses in hand and Theo and Blaise trailing behind, somewhat looking like the cat that ate the canary. She could read Slytherins; they were so confident of their victory. Silly boys. The blond in lead shot her a wink and handed her the ordered firewhiskey over the table.

"Ah, I see you found your stray friends, Malfoy. That means you don't have to occupy yourself with our Hermione anymore? With your forwardness you can consider yourself lucky that you didn't get hexed. It's not as if it'd never happened before." She could read Ron as well; he impersonated the protective big brother, as expected from him. At the same time he gave the friends the impression that he was _soooo_ surprised that the two of them hooked up. How did he even chase dark wizards, being the bad actor he was?

Draco's eyes never left hers as he replied, "Calm down, Wesley. I got exactly what I wanted." The next words were obviously addressing her, "I hope the drink helps you to cool down and let loose a bit. But don't drink too much, because what I have in mind with you next, you need full control over your hands, legs and -tongue." The following warmth that spread in her nether regions were clearly a product of her imagination and not of his pretended flirting.

With one large gulp she emptied her glass, licking the remaining moistness with her tongue from her lips. Did Draco's pupils dilate? Their gazes remained locked and, with Gryffindor and liquid courage, she decided to go all in.

"Is this dress important to you, Ginny?"

"Uh, no, it isn't. The colour clashes with my hair..." Her friend was obviously a bit taken aback at her question.

"Then it doesn't matter do you if you aren't getting it back in one piece. I have a feeling it is going to be shredded in a way that even magic can't repair."

She could hear Ginny gulp. Fabulous.

"I have to powder my nose, I'm afraid. Care to show me to the restrooms, Draco?" Oh my, she groaned inwardly, she sounded so cliché it hurt. Why hadn't seen anyone behind her facade yet? The wizard smirked and helped her to her feet. He kept a firm grip on her hand when they walked towards the ladies' rooms. Hermione shoved the blond into them, after magically checking that they were alone.

They doubled over in laughter, and soon Hermione had to wipe tears from her face. Draco's laugh was quite infectious actually, even more so when he wheezed incoherent sentences, "Have you seen, hahaha, and then Potter, heheheee, and Blaise….!" Slowly, they calmed down.

"Thank you, Draco, this was honestly the most fun I had in too long a while," Hermione admitted, still holding her side.

The man perked up, aware of steps approaching.

"And it isn't over, as it seems." He winked at her and then, faster than she could process, he shoved her into one of the stalls, his wand moving in an intricate pattern. "Selective silencing charm. They can only hear us when we talk loudly, though for them, it's going to sound like regular volume," he whispered conspiratorially.

She heard the door open and close, with at least two persons stepping in.

"They must be in here, I saw them enter!" That was Ron.

"He must really be after her if didn't even apparate them to his town house," said Blaise, astonished. Hermione's eyes widened at the implications, whereas Draco merely shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not sure anymore if this setup was such a good idea. She behaved a little out of character, don't you think?" Turning the Man-who-saved-the-wizarding-world's-ass-twice into an apprehensive mess? Check.

Smirking, Draco spoke up, "Oh, kitten, yes, that's good. Have you cast a silencing spell? I wanna make you scream."

The three men outside the door gasped, and, by the sound of it, made a run for the door.

"Of course," Hermione replied and tried to lace some naughtiness into her voice, "and I locked the door, too." She had indeed flicked her wand towards the entrance, so that their poor friends were trapped. Then, she elbowed her partner in crime into his ribs, which caused him to groan. "You really believe I'd forget to cast a silencing spell?"

His face was contorted in pain from her attack, but his tone was cocky, "I could make you forget your name, kitten."

Hermione didn't dignify the pleasant tingle down her spine a second thought and opted for teasing instead, "Psh, I'm sure this works for most witches."

"Correct. Though, I know for a certain that you aren't most witches." The narrow space in the stall suddenly got much warmer, and she realised he had still his hands on her waist from when he guided her into the stall.

"We have to continue performing!" he urged and snapped her out of her thoughts, "We have an audience, after all!"

She rolled her eyes, and sighed, loud and dramatically, "Draco, you were right. Yours is so much more delicious than Theo's and much thicker than Ron's."

"Theo?" was all he could ask.

"Long story. Moan," the witch ordered.

"Really?" Did he question her brilliance? Okay, it had taken her a while to learn, but, nonetheless, "You'd _definitely_ moan if I gave you a blow-job. And Ron knows that."

"Just more things you excel at?" The slight appreciation in his tone pacified her -a bit.

"You'll never know."

Draco closed his eyes, and briefly, she wondered what he thought of to get in moan-mood, but then she got distracted by his fingers curling around her hip. The sounds, coming from deep within his throat, were rumbling and vibrated from where they touched, only to pool as a slight dampness in her knickers. Merlin, this was entirely too hot. But that didn't stop him. Thankfully, after a minute or so in which Hermione detected embarrassed humming (Harry and Ron still had the childish manner to put their fingers into her ears and overtone whatever it was they didn't want to hear), he stopped moaning and opened his eyes again. His pupils were fully blown and it was hard to interpret anything else into them than lust. Now she really wanted to discover what he had thought of.

"As much as I enjoyed this, I don't want to spill myself in that naughty mouth of yours." His volume conveyed that he was talking in curtesy of their show. "Come here, you're wearing too much." For a split second, she expected him to rip her clothes off. Hell, for longer than a split second she wanted him to rip her clothes off! Instead, he made a swishing move with his wand and procured a ripping noise with magic.

"It's your turn to moan. _Loudly._ " Great, the confidence train rolled in again. Now, Hermione had another idea.

"Yesss, like this! Land the eagle, dragon."

Draco scolded, (and he was adorable while doing so), "You'd really say that?"

She didn't know if she giggled at his words or his expression. "Not in a million years! It doesn't make any sense!"

"Let's make this fast and hard, yes? I'm not usually one to make a headstart, but if you are such a minx, I might give in." There just had to be a rational explanation why this man affected her so much. Maybe he was trying to humiliate her? Improbable -he'd be more subtle about that. There was a bet going on in the ministry on how long he'd need to make her crack? Whatever.

In unison, they groaned and moaned, and even screamed a bit, sometimes each other's names, sometimes expletives. In turn, they rattled at the stall walls as if they were doing it wildly. With a synchronised moan they 'finished' together.

"Five minutes? If she makes him lose control like that, Salazar, then he's going to marry her!" Blaise muttered, astonished, after a short span of silence. In their narrow space, Draco stiffened, and Hermione could feel it under her hands. Which, somehow had landed on his chest in their 'performance', as had his palm on her upper arms. Strange.

"Finale?" he asked huskily. She nodded and whimpered, "Oh, hold me, I'm seeing stars."

"Hey, I _am_ named after a constellation." They should leave the ministry and write sappy romance novels together with shirtless, deliciously muscled blond men on the cover who hold curvy brunettes in their arms. Giggling silently, Hermione lifted the locking charm on the door with a strong shimmer for show.

"You think they're going to be okay when we leave them?" Harry voiced reluctantly with a concerned edge to his voice, to which Ron replied, "Oi Harry, it's not that they needed us at all. And you know women, she probably wants to cuddle a bit."

Someone, it had to be Blaise, sniggered. "Draco doesn't cuddle, smitten or not."

"Hermione does. No matter if he wants to or not."

The 'couple' listened to the conversation with wide ears.

"No. Way. Malfoy. Cuddles." Blaise, convinced.

"He. Has. No. Choice." Ron, speaking from experience.

"Wanna bet?" the former Slytherin suggested, and they could hear fabric rustling, "Here, your dear wife, or sister respectably, handed me this, the newest concoction from your brother's joke shop: Extendable Eyes."

"Blimey, George told me about that. Works like Extendable Ears, but like a camera." A pause. "Let's bet. Three Galleons that they're cuddling."

"Five, and they're busy snogging and preparing for round two."

Hermione's stomach dropped at the realisation of what was about to happen, and even Draco paled a bit.

"They're going to see us!" she panicked, "What can we do?"

Suddenly, a strange determination befell his handsome face.

"I am so going to be slapped for real for this-" he muttered under his breath, unbuckled his belt with one swift move and tugged down his pants and, with a grasp at her waist, he pulled Hermione into his chest. Before she decided if she wanted to protest or not, his lips were on hers.

She knew she was doomed. Soft and firm, his lips pressed on hers, and to top it all, she caught a full load of his scent. Automatically, she responded, and after a sigh, opened her mouth to his gently probing tongue. One of his arms secured her even stronger on him, while the other cupped her head. It was a replay of the scene at the dance floor, though this time, it wasn't an act. It was deliciously real. Hermione deepened the kiss, and she was vaguely aware of the silent buzz of a device above their heads, but this felt too good to care for something else now. His palms ran over her, and her fingers buried themselves in the soft tresses on his neck. Things heated up fast, and soon she could hear a soft, but so real moan escaping Draco's mouth, answered by one of her own as his thumbs fulfilled their prophecy and graced over her nipple.

"Blimey! Blaise, you were right!" Ron's voice interrupted them roughly. Draco's palm still cupped her head and Hermione's fingers had hooked into the waistband of his boxers, when they looked at each other. Confused, surprised- and, above all, shockingly aware how much they hand enjoyed the dropped act.

That wasn't proper at all.

On the other side - why shouldn't it be?


	3. What Grown Folks Do

**A/N: I'm still reeling att the huuge (in my eyes) response this story got. Thank you so much for that!**

 **A huge shout-out to MrBenzedrine, my magnificent beta. Without her, I'd never had the courage to publish smut. She's the Master of Smut (yeah, I know that she's female and thus it should be Mistress -but read it as an academic title, yes?). She threw an amazing drabble at us: The Vagina Monologue!**

 **Warning: Smut and craziness coming up!**

It was the closing of the door (as Harry, Ron, and Blaise left) that finally interrupted their eye lock.

Carefully, Hermione unlocked her thumbs from the waistband of Draco's boxers; with that came two realisations: as expected, his underwear was made of a very soft material, probably silk - and the bulge in them proved how much he had enjoyed their encounter. He removed his hand from her breast hastily, only to run his fingers through his hair. That gave him an even sexier freshly-shagged look.

"I guess we come to the part where you hex my bits now?" He was so cute when he said it, she couldn't resist to tease him a bit.

"If you insist. You can choose: do you want them coloured emerald green and silver, or do you want them ringing like bells with every step?" Draco's eyes widened before he noticed that she was kidding him, and his infectious laughter rang through the narrow space. The tension broke and, smiling and resting his forehead against hers, he asked, "What now?"

She pondered some things for a while before she answered him, "I was told to have fun and let loose. I had fun, very much so with you. I'm certain you could help me with totally letting loose, too."

Boldly, she traced one finger over his deflating erection. He hissed and growled, "Hermione, you tempt me-"

"-Then man up and take me home. I heard you have a town house to show off?" Only Merlin knew where her sudden eagerness came from. She saw hesitation creeping over his face. Where was the playboy when you needed him? "I'm a grown up woman, Draco. And, despite your expectations, I'm not after becoming the next Mrs. Malfoy."

He smirked, "Though that would be such a fun thing to tell my father, wouldn't it? And I sure as Hell can imagine you adorned with the expensive heirlooms my family owns." The seductive drawl was back, and he played with the dark blue earrings she had put on. " _Only_ clad in jewels, of course, and spread on my bed." She leaned against him, and felt that his hard-on was also back, pressing against her stomach. "Would you like that, Hermione?"

His presence seeped into the most primitive part of her brain that screamed for him to take her right now. With effort, she cleared her head and declared, "I expect your sheets to be nothing less than silk or Egyptian cotton." As nonchalant as she could muster, she emerged from the stall and rearranged her clothes, waiting for him to do the same. He grinned and wanted to right his hair when she stopped him by gripping his wrist. "Leave it like that. I think our friends deserve another act of 'The Snake and the Lioness'."

Draco nodded and debated, half-seriously, "Why can't it be something a bit more dramatic, like 'The Heir and the Heroine - The Force Awakens'?"

"Because that sounds like something from Star Wars!"

"Whatever that may be."

"Oh, Draco, if we don't leave here soon, we're going to end up in the cinema, not in bed…"

A passionate kiss eradicated her doubts. Afterwards, they laced their fingers together and walked out of the ladies' room. With a swish of her wand, Hermione erased all charms and wards she had built to keep other visitors away.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Hermione's and Draco's doings didn't go unobserved (much to their pleasure).

Ginny, using her newly acquired Mum-skills, scanned them with a blink of an eye, only to speak to her brother, "Ron, didn't you say he ripped the dress? That one seems very much intact. But, well, his wand work is simply excellent." Harry glared, flabbergasted, and for the first time since the legendary space cake incident, Ginny blushed. "What? Girls talk. Say something, Padma!" She elbowed her future sister-in-law into the ribs.

"Well, rumour has it that Draco Malfoy knows his ways with his powerful _wand_ …"

"Merlin, what is he doing?" Harry gasped, pointing at Hermione and Malfoy. The plotters had a prime view on what would Ron later call 'the drama that cost them a year of their lives'. Draco Malfoy, his eyes solely on the Pride of Gryffindor, gracefully sank down on one knee.

"He wouldn't dare to-"

But he did. With visible effort, the Malfoy heir pulled his signet ring from his finger, where it had rested since he came of age.

"Harry, they're talking! Translate!" Ginny demanded. It wasn't exactly a secret that Auror duty required lip reading.

"Uh, okay, let's see: He says, 'Hermione Granger, this blessed night made me realise what I have suppressed all along. The moment I saw you in the…. Hogwarts Express all those years ago, I fell hopelessly in... love with you.'" Theo wordlessly handed Blaise twenty Galleons. "'Your wits, your beauty, your bravery," Ron emitted a very mature vomiting sound, "'I knew from the beginning that you will be my ever shining light in the dorkness', uh, darkness, I guess."

"He's really going to do it, oh my!" Padma nearly hyperventilated. Ron's face had taken the colour of leftover porridge.

"He says: 'I can't imagine my life without you. I want you to share my bed, my fortune, my everything with you.'"

"-Which he won't have because, let's face it, Azkaban or not, Lucius is going to disinherit him!" Theo was on the verge of a very un-male panic attack.

"No, no, _no_ ," Harry said before he translated, "'Hermione Jean Granger, would you give me the unspeakable honor-', I must be dreaming, and it isn't a nice dream, 'to be my wife and the mother of my heirs?'" Deadly silence befell the odd mix of wizards and witches.

They could hear Hermione's squeal from where they sat and saw how she threw her hands up to cover her mouth. Malfoy's smile emitted the light of a supernova when he slid the makeshift engagement ring on the brunette's slender finger. Then he rose elegantly to pull his intended in for a kiss that could make vulcans erupt.

After what felt one and a half eternity, Blaise was the first to regain the ability of speech, " _Porca puttana_! We just blew up a dynasty!"

"Fuck the dynasty!" Ron cursed, "We just sold our sweet, innocent Hermione to a blond Sex-God!"

They all missed the smug expressions on the faces of sweet, innocent Hermione and her Sex-God when the two of them left 'Bond' through a back entrance that led to a dark alley.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was a wonder they didn't crash into a wall or fall down stairs the way they were engrossed with each other. His hands suddenly were everywhere, and his lips alternated between nipping on the sensitive skin on her shoulder and pressing wet kisses on her neck. But she wasn't idle, either, and roamed her palms over the rippling muscles of his back, only to curl her fingers behind his head and holding tight. To sum up, neither of them had a hand free to produce a wand and Apparate them.

Then it dawned on Hermione, "Draco…" her breathing was ragged.

"Kitten."

"My wand is fastened at the inner side of my thigh-" He didn't need another order and reached under her short dress. His fingertips chased over the soft skin of her inner thigh, up, up- "Gods, it's the other leg," Hermione moaned when his index traced the outer line of her panties. Not that he wanted him to stop. But a dark alley behind a club simply wasn't the apt place to be ravished by Draco Malfoy. Or anyone, for that matter.

His chuckle turned the dampness in her knickers into a river; he was the personification of sin. And she really enjoyed being a bad girl with him -not really bad, of course, more naughty than bad. He gripped her wand, not without repeating the procedure on her underwear from the other side.

Before he could Apparate them, she told him, "By the way, this is the wand holster you didn't approve of."

His expression could only be described as smug. "You gave me the perfect incentive to rethink that decision."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was obvious that Draco and his friends had another idea about what a town house was. To Hermione, and she had only seen the hall to the master bedroom so far, it looked like a small castle. Not that she had time to reflect about it as her legs were around Draco's waist and he snogged her senseless.

"The combined Privacy and Selective Silencing Charm was brilliant!" he praised, his voice raspy when he pulled the zipper of her dress down while supporting her weight with the other arm.

Between kisses along his neck she asked, "You saw?"

Draco nodded and set her back down on her feet, albeit reluctantly. With devotion, he peeled her out of her shiny dress. "Mh,yes. But I don't think anyone else has. That spares us the doubtful joy to explain that particular part of tonight to the Boulevard press and still send our dear friends into a maelstrom of thoughts."

"Great minds think alike, they say." She doubted the wizard had actively listened to her words, because his eyes raked over her body like she was the first woman he saw in her (admittedly very sexy) underwear. Hermione used his momentary distraction to unzip his trousers and unbuckle his belt, which fell to the dark wooden floor with a loud clatter. As if the noise released him from a spell, he pulled his shirt over his head, not even bothering to undo the buttons, and pushed his trousers from his feet.

Her heartbeat accelerated considerably at the sight of his now nearly naked body. He was toned without looking like a bodybuilder, and the fine trail of dark blond hair that started around his navel went further down to disappear under the waistband considerable tented boxers.

He made a step towards her, but she stopped him with a hand on his, surprisingly, warm chest.

"You know that sex against a wall requires quite a lot of strength? I've already crashed to the floor during it once."

His grin was positively devilish. "Let me guess, Theo again?"

"Does it matter? That's an experience I'd rather not repeat." Especially not with two thirds of the Weasley clan listening to her cursing because of the splinters in her behind the last time.

"I suppose I'll show my silken sheets now." With a wink, he took her hand and led her into his bedroom, which looked exactly as Hermione expected: lots of dark wood, a behemothic bed with expensive looking sheets and bedding and a giant window.

She approached the bed and felt the, indeed, lavishingly soft fabric when Draco stepped behind her. His chin rested on her shoulder when he removed her bra. Once her tits were devoid of lace, his hands cupped them with the perfect amount of pressure. With a hiss, she sucked air in as both of his thumbs rubbed over her nipples. They pebbled instantly. "Your breasts have the perfect size and weight, see?" He massaged them once, twice, before let go of them. She mewled her protest, but that was silenced quickly when he pulled her panties over her bum. Not all the way down, but enough to feel his length pressed between her arse cheeks as he held tight to her hips. Merlin, when did he shuffle off his boxers? The skin to skin contact, especially the feel of his cock against her, sent her libido into emergency mode. The _FUCK NOW_! kind of emergency.

It would have been a fair game to bend over the bed and let him take her from behind, but she desperately wanted to see his haunting, grey eyes when he reached his peak.

Blazingly fast, she turned and pushed him to sit on the edge of his bed. Hermione didn't explain her plan but wordlessly lowered down on her knees between his spread legs. Curiosity gripped her, and she started to explore his private parts with vigour. And her tongue.

WIth a swift move, her tongue stroke over the underside of his cock, from the base to the rounded tip. To his credit, he really tried to hold any sound in, though when she closed her lips around the top and sunk down, her teeth scraping over the skin just so, he lost the battle against his own lust, and he moaned, deep and throaty.

Her mouth still filled with his hardness, she threw him a triumphant glance.

"Salazar, you're so hot when you're right!" he rumbled, "But I really want to come in your sweet pussy, and not in your mouth." With visible effort, he coaxed her to lay on her back in the middle if the mattress. The silk felt glorious on her skin, but even more so the blond man that spread her legs.

"Before I test if you're already wet for me, and I still have a minimum of control over my body: are we protected? I have a potion here, if you need it."

He just had to be the responsible kind of sin, hadn't he? She smiled, "Ginny gave me a double dose before we left for the club. I guess I have to thank her now."

"I'll send her flowers." He concentrated on caressing her venus mount, the juncture of her legs, her thighs and softly blew over her dark pubic hair. Hermione's brain melted, and she could only focus on the sensation between her legs. Finally, Draco's long, elegant index finger traced the small slit between her nether lips. She could feel how wet she already was, and he hadn't even touched her clit-

"Ooh!" she moaned when his lips latched on the sensitive nub.

"Oh? That isn't very articulate, Miss Granger." As he spoke, he slipped one finger into her cunt, smoothly, because of the overflowing arousal. Though, he didn't move the finger but kept it motionless instead.

On edge, Hermione bucked her hips to feel the desperately needed friction, but Draco pinned her down with his forearm over her lower abdomen.

"Someone's eager to have the eagle landed, eh?" he pronounced slowly, as if he had all time in the world and not a persistent erection she could see from her position.

"I told you, I'd never say that."

"Doesn't mean you don't want it."

With a laugh and a strength that took him by surprise, she removed his finger swiftly, only to turn their bodies; now she had him reclining on his back where she wanted him.

She hovered over him, her arms braced on both sides of his head. Instead of moping that she had taken the lead, he kissed her feverishly. She spread her wetness on his cock by sliding over him until he halted her movements and groaned, "In. Now."

She rose and guided his steel-hard member into her.

Heavens. She had forgotten how good it felt. And Draco's cock touched all the right places inside her, filling her to the brim. A perfect fit.

Slowly, she began to rock her hips against him. The effect was formidable, because he made a sound that showed his rapture, something between a sigh and a groan. After a short time, his patience shattered, and his moves matched hers, increasing the delicious friction between his skin and her clit.

Hermione sensed his pleasure mounting, and, just because she could, alternated her back and forth rocking with a circular motion of her pelvis.

"Fuck. You're killing me here, kitten."

A strange noise, a mixture of a moan and a laugh, tumbled from her lips. Only a bit later, she realised that the hot white pleasure insight her threatened to implode. The witch sped up her riding, and she felt him tensing erratically, knowing he was as close to coming as she was.

"Draco-"

"Don't hold back, Hermione. Come for me."

His voice was her final straw; one, two, strong shifts later, bliss overtook her and she happily submitted herself to it. Her muscles hadn't even finished to clamp around him when she looked him straight in his eyes. Just in time, because with a mighty thrust of his own, he stiffened and came. The ecstasy that clouded his vision, the exhilaration dancing through his darkened grey orbs, prolonged her orgasm into the immeasurable.

Very slowly, they both came down from their high, their heartbeats returned to the normal rhythm, and their breathing normalised. Though, they couldn't take the eyes off each other.

"That was-" Hermione started, digging for the right words.

"-Hopefully not the last time we did this." Draco finished with a meaningful glance. "I mean, I enjoyed very much to be bossed around by Hermione Granger, but give me the chance for an equal payback," he added, almost hastily.

Hermione smiled when she let his flaccid member glide out of her and lay down next to him.

"Just for the sake of revenge, of course."

He returned the smile and curled her into his arms. "Of course."

Not long after, two even breaths were the only sounds in the town house.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Pleeeeeeease, Hermione! You have to tell me everything!" Ginny whined, juggling Albus on one hip.

"Do I have to now? I don't think so."

Hermione's fingers curled around a divine mug full of liquid caffeine as she raised an eyebrow in perfect imitation of the blond wizard she had left sleeping in his bed this morning. Not that she wanted to make a hasty departure, but when she woke up, sated and warm, she realised with a start that she had agreed to meet Ginny for breakfast at the Potters. So, she had gently kissed him on his forehead and scribbled a note on a piece of parchment.

' _Draco,_

 _thanks for helping me to let loose.  
Care to meet again without the strenuous task of a setup?_

 _Hermione'_

She flooed home and jumped to have a shower. When she exited her bathroom, dressed in comfortable clothes (they were her friends and had seen her battered and bruised, why should she dress up?) and just wanted to slip into her ballerinas, when a jet black owl tapped against her window. The bird carried a roll of parchment and a small box with it, tied together with an emerald green ribbon. Hermione unfolded the letter and read,

' _Hermione,_

 _I was quite happy to assist.  
I'll take you out for dinner on Tuesday at 7. _

_Draco  
P.S.: Open the box. A kitten needs an appropriate collar.'_

"Merlin, Hermione!" Ginny snapped her fingers in front of the brunette's face and rudely pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Yes, Ginny?" Hermione smiled innocently.

"Come on, tell me what happened after he proposed and you left the club with Draco Malfoy!"

"Oh, you mean after we set you lot up after discovering that _you_ set _us_ up?"

Ginny's reaction was comical: the croissant she had been holding slipped into her tea cup, splattering the tea over the table. Little Albus giggled loudly at that.

Hermione opened her arms towards him, "Come, cuddle with Aunt Hermione while your Mommy cleans up."

Her own arms free, Ginny threw her hands into the air. "Fine! You're right, of course. We played matchmaker together with Theo and Blaise. I told them you two geniuses would get behind it."

That mollified Hermione a bit.

"But I'm _not_ sorry. You two clicked, and you left together, even if the proposal was a complete farce. And you christened the ladies' room at the club."

"All part of the show, Gin."

The redheaded witch tilted her head and scrutinised her friend's complexion. "Don't lie to me, dear! That works with the gullible boys but not with me. You had sex last night, and fantastic sex at that."

"We didn't have sex _in the club_ -I'd take an Unbreakable Vow on it!" Hermione didn't even try to hide her grin. Suddenly, Ginny's eyes looked at something on the other witch's neck.

"What is it that Albus is playing with?"

Automatically, Hermione's fingers found the gorgeous blue diamond necklace that had accompanied Draco's letter in the morning.

"Sweet baby dragons, are those _blue diamonds_? Do you have any idea how rare those are?" Ginny exclaimed.

A kitten needed an appropriate collar, after all.

 _Tuesday, 7 p.m._

The flutter in Hermione's insides had nothing to do with the coffee.

 **A/N: That's it! Hope you enjoyed it!**


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